So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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