the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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