I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
