i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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