Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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