i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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