Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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