just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize