I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
