Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
