WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
