I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
