I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
