Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
