Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
