Whod you bang
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
