idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
