I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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