why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
