How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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