i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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