I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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