I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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