I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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