Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
