I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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