i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
