why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
