Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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