3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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