Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
