Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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