your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
