oh god the rape fog is back!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
