I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
did i just pee glitter
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
