i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
