ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
