Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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