I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
