I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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