Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
