walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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