i need an iv and a liver transplant
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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