"it" just moved
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
