My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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