i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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