I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
