Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
