My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
