We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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