wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
