Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
