so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
