Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My nipple is on Facebook.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
