Your tits are I can't wait for
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
