It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
