I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
