By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize