worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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