i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
