Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
