she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
