i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
