So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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