I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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