just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
