Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
