Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize