East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
